It's been a year and a few days since I stopped LPing, and to be quite honest I haven't checked my YouTube inbox since then (partly because of the whole Google- fiasco, partly because, well, that stuff is behind me. Well, I took a look at some of the PMs I got in the last year out of curiosity, and man, that shit's DEPRESSING. Get a load of this:
My name is Michael Shmalts, and I am working with the Russian Gaming industry.
Today, I would like to present you a wonderful game PANZAR.COM,
this game has already conquered millions of gamers all over the World
and we have decided to release our game also in Europe.
Your country's gamers community is important to us, this is why I
would like to order from you 2-3 video reviews/lets play on the game.
Please, let me know your price for one video release on your
channel and if the price is right I will get back to you with further
Looking forward to working with you!
Is that a thing now? Developers ORDER Let's Plays? Well of course they're not going to be impartial if some people actually do those LPs, now do they? As I said, depressing. Oh, and we're talking about two or three LPs of the same game from the same guy. Umm... what's the point? (Also, I'm still not for sale. Not back then, not now, and not ever.)
Just going to put up a paragraph of the next one, because it's really long and I want to draw your attention to one thing:
I am contacting you on behalf of Mackay Media. We are a
proprietary network for Forela Digital. We are an exclusive premium
YouTube network, interested in new ideas and concepts. We believe that
you genuinely have some very interesting content presented in an
engaging and professional manner.
Content presented in a professional manner? With my production value of ZERO and my irreverencious style? Good lord, if that doesn't prove those spamming asshats lie out of every single orifice they have when they say they've seen my stuff, nothing will.
Again, just a single paragraph for this one:
You've got a very nice YouTube channel and we love what
you are doing with it. Your channel is now eligible to join YouTube
Partner Program, because you are focused on great videos we'd like to
invite you to apply for a partnership with Zoomin.TV Network.
They love what I'm doing with my channel. AKA absolutely nothing. I got this in May, for the record, seven months after I quit.
We love your youtube channel and your videos are great. Congratulation on your success!
I'm Nikki Perez, Marketing Director at AppNana. We are one of the
largest mobile rewards app on iOS and Android. AppNana lets people try
free apps to get iTunes, Amazon, PayPal, Xbox gift cards and other paid
games & apps for free. Your mobile viewers will like it because
they've been downloading free apps all the time and are not getting
anything out of it, why not get AppNana and earn rewards while
downloading some free apps, right? I believe it'd be a mutual benefits
We have very large monthly budget to promote our appnana.com this
year. I am ready to begin allocating as much of this spend to you as I
can. Please let me know if you are interested in promoting for us in
My email: email@example.com Learn more about our product: http://appnana.com
Wait, what is this supposed to even mean? I'm not kidding, I'm honestly at a loss at what this is and how it's supposed to work. Well, aside from two words - obvious fraud.