Monday, February 13, 2012

More Guinness World Records facepalms!

Remember that time when they ranked Ash Ketchum as one of the top 50 video game characters, when he appeared in a glorious total of ONE GAME (Pokémon Puzzle League of all things)? Well, they're at it again, with this incredibly lousy list of the best endings ever. Entry #28 has the potential to be by far the scariest, as it could either mean the 1991 industry revolution, or the 2006 cataclysm. And considering the original didn't have that memorable of an ending to begin with, especially when compared to its direct sequels... better not think about it. Especially since there's nothing more insulting than playing through a game so terribad it should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention, getting to the end and being told, hey, you know the events that took place during this game? They never happened! So you suffered through hours and hours of bad gameplay and loading screens, and you didn't accomplish a damn thing.

Speaking of Sonic, remember that one time when a horribly written and designed character (even by Sonic standards) that spawned an entire genre of terrible fanmade characters died, and we were supposed to pretend to give a shit, and we did for no other reason than because we'd never see that lame-ass character again, and they backpedaled on and retconned it as soon as THE VERY NEXT GAME? Yeah, it's on there too.

On the flip side, it's a miracle any Pokémon game made after 2001 gets acknowledged on any top XX list decided by a poll, which just goes to show how much progress Black and White represented over the rest of the series, as well as just how despicable Ghetsis is as a character. Doesn't redeem a list that definitely looks like it was picked by a crowd that wasn't at all hesitating to flood it with unimpressive M-rating games despite not being old enough to play T-rated ones.


  1. While I disagree with most of that list, Halo Reach is a great ending and I wish to see more like it. The fact that they portrayed the complete decimation of the planet through this one sequence - no HUD, no end: just you and your skills against an entire planet until you eventually died is one of the pinnacles of storytelling through gameplay. Sure, the story itself wasn't stellar, but the fact that you FELT this utter defeat personally really made it stick out in my mind.
    Major stinkers on here include Super Mario Bros. (fuck off, "PRESS B TO START A NEW WORLD"?), Oblivion (...a game that HAS NO ENDING), Sonic the Hedgehog (he runs left. THAT'S IT) and Fallout 3.
    ...Fallout 3. The game in which the ending was universally-reviled. EVERYONE hated it. It was the worst part of the game.

    This list proves 2 things: 1) fuck off Guinness and 2) fans are morons.

  2. half of that list might as well be counted as one game others are plain old terrible and then there are that have some that have some merit sound like a new game IGNorant company has appeared.

  3. Although some genuinely awesome endings like GTA: San Andreas and Prince of Persia: THe Sands of Time did make into the list.

  4. Black Ops has the best game ending of all time? Really?
    Also, I like how Mother 3 is nowhere to be seen.

    1. Well that's understandable, almost no one outside of Japan ever played it.

    2. Irrelevant, they're world records for a reason. It's simply a case of people who know nothing about video games polling other people who know nothing about video games, and it turns into a popularity contest among games. The games that get the most press win.

    3. So not knowing about Mother 3 makes you know nothing about video games. Suuuuure. Even if the sample was more representative of gamers as a whole, I guarantee Mother 3 still wouldn't be on there because of how few people were exposed to it.

      By the way, these aren't world records, just a series of polls.

    4. Only my first sentence referred to Mother 3, the rest was my opinion as a whole about Guinness. I realize it's a very niche game and wouldn't be on there anyway, but that doesn't make the ending any less worthy. Also, I have reservations about attaching the title of 'World Records' to something that is not, in fact, a record of any kind.

    5. Sorry about the misunderstanding. And yes, I agree, only objective, measurable facts can be considered a record.

      On that note, I remember back in the late 90s, they said Lara Croft was more recognizable than Mario at that point. I guess it's something that can be gauged to an extent, but nowadays it sounds just insane that anything could be more recognizable than Mario. Tomb Raider was all the rage back then, though...

  5. Is it sad that I actually had to stop and think of a specific poorly-written Sonic character before realizing you meant Shadow?

    On the subject of world records... World records should be something measurable, even if it's something stupid like the world's filthiest man or whatever. If you leave everything up to peoples' opinions, you get lists that not everyone can agree on, since everyone has their own opinion of what is good and what is bad.

    Of course, that's just my opinion.

  6. WR is good as long as it is not VG records.