Saturday, August 29, 2015

Tumblr is now openly cannibalizing its own.

It begins. But we all knew that'd happen eventually.

So there's a two-minute trailer for this cartoon called Gen Zed that really should be renamed Tumblr: The Animated Series. The animation's worse than the CD-I Zeldas, the "humor" is unbearably offensive for anyone with two brain cells to rub together (and by that I mean it makes South Park look like the pinnacle of political correctness), the one cis white male is represented as what Tumblr thinks cis white males are, but it's all okay because FIRST OPENLY TRANS LEAD IN CARTOON HISTORY, and she's VOICED BY AN ACTUAL TRANS VA. SO PROGRESSIVE. (Note how nobody seems to remember Team Rocket's Meowth, because as far as anyone knows Maddie Blaustein didn't go on a jihad against the cishet shitlords.)

But the fun part? Even the SJWs and Tumblrinas are taking a lava dump all over it. I'm not sure why, because being a relatively sane person in comparison I thought for sure they'd be all over that shit, but apparently not. And honestly, I'm rooting for them, just this one time. This cartoon is that bad. It's just beyond belief that you can infer so much out of a two-minute trailer, and yet here we are.

But hey, if you don't believe me... some people hunted down choice tweets from the people involved in this, mostly the series' creator and the aforementioned trans voice actress WHO CAN DO NO WRONG BECAUSE SHE'S TRANS, and here are a few samples.

"Conservatives are frightened of trans people using the wrong bathrooms because it means less people potentially using their glory holes."

"It doesn't matter if you're overweight, you should love yourself. Because no one else will."

"#jaredfogle ate at a Chinese restaurant tonight. His fortune cookie read "Please stop touching me inappropriately."

"I'm starting a pool. What will #PresidentCarter die of first: cancer or old age."

"We're lucky Moses was Jewish. If he hadn't haggled with God we'd have way more than 10 commandments."

(This is a retweet, but still, just watch.) "My safe word is, "I'm HIV positive." Trust me, it works."

"Same guy who stabbed 6 people in today's Jerusalem gay pride parade also stabbed 4 people at same event in 2005. What a shit stabber."

"As Hillary Clinton's email scandal gets worse, Bernie Sanders begins worrying about his carrier pigeons."

"I walked past Bill Cosby's star on the walk of fame & felt woozy. But then I realized it's because all of Hollywood is covered in urine."

Wow. Just wow. I'm blown away. When this shit starts spreading on Tumblr, because you know it will, it will get so, so bad. Get the popcorn ready.


  1. No surprise, i've been feeling much of the neohippie/tumblr crowd is to devower[sic] itself, bask in every minute of it men, ruins are farcical

  2. For them to realize that they are terrible people is to create a paradox that will lead to the heat death of the universe. I say we recruit Magical Girls and use their souls to avert this fate!...

    1. Don't worry, we're safe. Anyone whose brain greenlights these nuggets of wisdom will NEVER catch on to the fact that they're oxygen thieves:

      "After decades of intense research, scientists say they're still no closer to creating a Jewish mother who can actually listen."

      "Fox News has scared me so much about where gay weddings will lead, whenever I see a mom kiss her kid, I hear boom-chicka-wow-wow."

      Because antisemitism and pedophilia are so funny, right guys? Guys?

    2. You forgot homophobia, incest, and them thinking Fox News isn't a wretched hive of lies and deceit. We had Anonymous, now these guys...What manner of plague will haunt the developed world next?...

    3. The way I understand it, it was a jab at Fox News' extreme views and propaganda, not approval. Still.

      Oooooh, here are some more fresh off the presses. You're gonna love these. Not.

      "Americans aren't big on reading. And yet more and more are claiming Chapter 11 as their favorite."

      "We got my grandma Life Alert but they cut her off because she kept buzzing them to complain we weren't calling her enough."

      "Does #Supergirl have super periods and turn into a superbitch?"

      tl;dr version: The poor suck, the elderly suck, women suck. And this guy wants to make the SJW equivalent of TMNT. I want Tumblr to destroy him SO BAD. The chapter 11 one is especially bad, since we're talking about a country that can drive you into bankruptcy for just being sick.

    4. Or wanting a higher education. That puts a dent in your wallet too. And that's the one America goes out of its way to convince you to do. But yeah, someone like this does deserve to get the treatment Doug Walker says is how Fox News fires reporters. Both are hypocrites who want to rule the world, after all...

    5. Shoddy healthcare is worse. You can choose whether or not to get a higher education. You don't choose to get a disease or whatever else (most of the time, anyway).

  3. I honesty don't see how bad people on Tumblr is. But that might be due to the fact that I mostly look at Ask Pony Blogs more than other Tumblr blogs.....
    And you saying that the animation of this show is bad? I would like to be the judge of that. Let me see that animation! Go ahead and link it.*

    *I am going to regret this....*


      After seeing this, you'll have no privilege left to check. There's a frame in particular where one of the character's hands literally melts into his face, and another one where the black guy's holding a controller with the most anatomically incorrect hands ever.

    2. I think I have just seen a new type of hell. And it's name is Gen Zed.
      This is now on my list of VERY awful animations, with CD-I Zelda coming in 3rd, and all of the abysmal animations from Dingo Studios in 1st. Hell, I actually think- and I can't BELIEVE I'm about to say this- that Gen Zed's animation might be even WORST than a Dingo Studios animation!

      .......I regret everything now.

  4. Some of the comments on that video are golden.

    "I sexually Identify as an attack helicopter."

    (the responses for that one are great as well: "Do you racially identify as a shitty old meme?" [the guy's avatar is a pepe] "Stop opressing me")

    "why isn't there a native american character? I feel really triggered rn gonna write about this on my tumblr tbh"

    "I am deeply deeply offended by this animation. It has triggered many of my PTSD symptoms, as I type this I am literally shaking from anxiety. Please Delete this."

    "excuse me but if you could use less capital letter that would be great. you are seriously triggering me. hell is a trigger free zone shit lord."

    But, uh, yeah, really hope this show crashes and burns. Terrible animation, horrible humor, shitty people involved with it... Please get wrecked.

    1. If it does crash and burn, you know what'll be the funniest thing ever? All the unsold merchandise. I'm dead serious, they already have monstrous amounts of Gen Zed merch to sell, like t-shirts, stickers, phone/tablet cases, posters, pillows, mugs, scarves, notebooks, and my favorite, KIDS' CLOTHES.

      When I made the TMNT connection earlier, I had no idea this shit was going down. TMNT gambled and won by making all kinds of products, THEN making a show around them. It's unlikely to work for them. I mean, how confident can you be that it'll work out when you pump out so much merch and hope to sell it based on a two-minute preview (at least for the time being)?

    2. ...Kids' clothes?

      Please tell me one morning, preferably in the not too distant future, I'll wake up to hear that everything Gen Zed related is all one, big joke.

      ...Oh, if only things worked that way...

    3. Some people actually believe this is a scam. Too bad that for it to be effective, your target audience would have to identify with the product. It doesn't.

    4. Wouldn't surprise me, but I would love to see some comments about that.

  5. Slowflake, I found a really awesome fanfic about Sonic the Hedgehog. It's called Sonic High School...

    ...Nah, who am I kidding? It's as bad as Metroid High. (I'm not kidding)

    1. Of course it is. The Sonic fanbase has a way to make themselves look like ass time and time again. Besides, it's gotta be fairly tame compared to Sonichu.

      ...please tell me it is. It is, right?

    2. The animation is crap...I still wouldn't willingly check out more...On the bright side, Sonic and Eggman aren't in love...

    3. @Slowflake NO... It's BAD! There is so much sex it's crazy. Oh, and the guywho wrote Sonic High called it a "critically acclaimed series". Figures.

  6. Try this version on for size...

  7. the one cis white male is represented as what Tumblr thinks cis white males are, Tera Gold