Monday, July 27, 2015

Horrors like this are the reason why Tumblr exists.

So I came across this review of a tabletop RPG known as FATAL (don't ask how), and after reading it I'm feeling utterly depressed. How does anyone even think this is a good idea? I can't even begin to imagine any kind of work of fiction that treats women as badly as this. This makes Christian Grey look like a paragon of virtue! Yeah, I said that. Fight me. This game claims to be historically accurate, but it makes Genji 2's similarly outrageous boast look perfectly truthful. Yes, women have been mistreated pretty badly throughout history... but never even close to THIS badly. Seriously, you ought to read this thing if you ever feel like you have brain cells to kill.

Oh, one more thing. I don't know shit about tabletop RPGs, and even I can only look at this fuckheap's mechanics and say "what the hell was this sack of misfiring synapses thinking"? The "maximum speech rate" stat potentially being lower than the "average speech rate" stat in particular had the effect of a shotgun blast to the face when I read that part, not to mention the fact that d10000000 rolls are a thing in this monstrosity (despite having only five different outcomes, so what's the point?). Hell, doing some quick research it seems d1000 rolls are very rare in that kind of games, so the logical thing to do? Add four more zeroes anyway! Oh, and enjoy trying to remember which die's the tens, the hundreds, the thousands, etc.

Usually, doing this is really, really stupid, but I think for this one case, we can all get a free pass, right?

16 comments:

  1. I heard about that game the other day. Not only is it extremely offensive but woah, it's actually shoddily made too (what a surprise)!

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    1. Something to add to that:
      "FATAL is a RPG that lets neckbeards live out their rape fantasies."
      Based on the content in that game, that seems about right.

      I'm sure there are decent fetish-oriented tabletop-style games out there. But this pretty much exists to bring all that down, doesn't it?

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  2. on a gameplay standpoint the math in the game doesn't make too much sense and supposedly there was a CD rom version of the game, not sure what it was about though

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  3. Humanity still has a loooooong way to go...

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  4. Worse than Christian Grey? Wow, it takes a concerted effort to be worse than not-Edward Cullen in that certain bad Twilight porn. After all, it's even worse than Twilight, and it gets the kind of porn it wants to convey wrong. All while the main character justifies being in an abusive relationship by thinking he's so perfect. And the funny thing? It's not unsimilar to the Game Over screen in Plumbers Don't Wear Ties where the girl will do anything for that job...

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  5. I know this is COMPLETELY off-topic, but I don't have the patience, nor the willpower to read the full article about that darn thing...

    But yeah. Dragon Quest XI. JRPG game series that I have never played, but there's something peculiar about this one. SquareEnix has apparently announced its release in Japan. And it'll come out next year for the PS4, 3DS and... the NX. The latter will also receive a port of the previous entry in the franchise: DQX, which was already available for the Wii U as well. (Albeit only in Japan)
    I'm honestly not sure of what to think of all this. I'm getting worried.

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    1. Gamespot is just as shitty as the rest.

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    2. Oh whatever... It was a leak, which GameXplain omitted to mention (which is why I believed it, because I haven't heard dirt about them as of now), so I guess it could be fake. That's what I get for looking for news after just waking up, my brain skips details.

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    3. Oh, by the way, not only does Gamespot say nothing about a 2016 release, but another article there also says this:

      "Square Enix has toned down is commitment to releasing Dragon Quest X and Dragon Quest XI for Nintendo's NX. Asked for clarification on its position regarding the console, a spokesperson for the company said the releases are "under consideration" but it doesn't have "further information to share at the moment."

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    4. Alright, I have my lesson now. I will ignore all gaming news until noon from now on.
      Like I said, my main source was GameXplain, but I didn't want to shoehorn their video since it doesn't give a lot of details. So I basically just ran a quick-search and avoided the bad sites I could remember.
      I'm just really worried that my Wii U would end up being a waste of money.

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  6. Sexism AND advanced algebra in one package? This can only end in good. No wonder people hate this...

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    1. Meh, I love Math, so the algebra wouldn't be such an unwelcome intricacy for me. :P Now, the disgusting sexism, on the other hand...

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    2. I dunno, here the math is done so badly the sexism isnt really something you could care about, since it's pretty much shit to play the game, usually if the mechanics are broken it's shamed upon by the tabletop community

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    3. Very true. I'd rather play a well designed game than a fetish game.

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    4. For the last f**king time, NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH! Which is probably why I don't play tabletop RPGs...

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  7. Hmm...yo Slowflake, need something to cleanse the pallete after this travesty? Try this on for size...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C33rduF6FWo

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