Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Should Sonic just be retired at this point?

I mean, between the obvious lack of quality and the plethora of glitches, Sonic Boom's rapidly earning its unfortunate nickname of "Sonic 2014". So let's do the math, shall we? In the last decade, out of the many, many Sonic games we've had, only two, that's right, TWO, were worth playing (and you should be ashamed if you can't figure out which ones I'm talking about). Seriously, fuck the guy who thought, "wow, Shadow's so popular, he needs his own game!". Because that's how it all got started. (I could say, fuck the guy who thought Shadow himself was a good idea, because he wasn't, but SA2 and Heroes were actually pretty dang good, though time has been kinder to other games.)

Remember when they basically had to cancel the third game of the Storybook trilogy because the first two were so damn atrocious? You'd think someone somewhere would've understood that wake-up call, but nope. Aside from the aforementioned two miracles (because that's what they're looking like right now), it looks like some puppetmaster's playing with Sonic and pals' dead corpses at this point. Is it Old Yeller time? I'm really starting to feel like it should be. Probably won't, because as long as Sonic's in the title of a game people are going to be suckered into buying it (as seen with the people hopelessly defending Sonic Boom in an attempt to justify their purchase). And as long as it makes money, them anthro carcasses are going to keep dancing.

And yes, I'm aware this particular game was made by a third party, but I'm pretty sure Sega had to greenlight that decision in the first place. Likewise, you can't really put the blame on "being rushed for the holidays", because Sonic 2006 had the same problem, and no one gives THAT a free pass. Heck, in many ways Sonic Boom might have it worse, because 24 hours after release we already have sub-1 hour sequence breaking speed runs, whereas it took even Sonic 2006 YEARS to perfect the glitching aspect.

In closing, quote of the day goes to one MasterLemon:

Sonic Boom doesn’t sound like the game of the year. And I bet all the Megas in the game will end up on B- at best on Smogon’s viability ranking. Guess Knuckles was stronger with a Life Orb rather than those retarded arms.

30 comments:

  1. I heard it was more about the game being rushed out for the holidays rather than it being the developers' fault. Many of the developers for this new studio came from Naughty Dog, after all.

    As a non-Sonic fan who would have loved to see him cut from Smash, I'm just laughing at this whole situation. I'll agree, it's time to take him out back.

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    1. You know which other game was rushed out for the holidays?

      No, really, I don't need to spell it out for you, do I?

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    2. Clement did a three hour review of that game, and he says that argument is stupid. Would similar to what he said apply to Sonic Boom?...

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  2. What's scarier is that Nintendo is trying so hard to push it with notifications on Wii U and 3DS a puzzle swap for the game hell, they made the Sonic Boom 3DS theme the first free theme at the theme shop. Sure it's exclusive to Nintendo consoles but shouldn't they have at least looked at the final product? Then again Nintendo probably didn't do that with the CD-i games either...

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  3. Miku master race. Seriously, it's sad that out of the two series Sega constantly releases stateside, the one that's actually good (consistently, at the very least) is niche as hell.

    Really, Sega as a whole has kinda just taken a shit. They're reduced to pumping out Sonic titles and Hatsune Miku games (which I'm super grateful for, because the 3DS games are region locked (because Nintendo sucks), and the Vita/PS3 ones let me get them cheaper, and with F 2nd, get the DLC). Meanwhile, you have series like Yakuza, Valkyria Chronicles (although they *did* just re-release the first one on Steam), and the Shining Force series that they just decide to ignore. I've never played any of the games, but it's still kinda shitty.

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    1. I guess you can take solace in the fact that Miku has replaced Goku as the nonsensical "why is this character not in SSB?" pick for this gen.

      Which might also be a very bad thing, all things considered, so don't mind me.

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    2. At least Miku makes sense compared to Goku, since Sonic, Sega's other big character, is in Smash now, and there's a spinoff of the Project Diva games called Project Mirai, which are on the 3DS (and is getting released here next year, yay!). Of course, she's never, ever going to be in Smash, but the point is if she were to ever get in, it'd make more sense than Goku.

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    3. Her final smash would be a bunch of rabid fans mobbing everyone

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  4. I'm ashamed but might I ask what the worthy games were? (I haven't played any from the last decade bar Generations, please don't hurt me)

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    1. Colors and Generations are the ones met with universal praise (well, almost). The rest from 06 to now are awful to mixed...

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    2. You might as well include Shadow into the mix. It was the big trendsetter, 2006 was just the absolute lowest point (since it's still too early to figure out what Sonic Boom's legacy is going to be in the long term).

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    3. And yes, Colors and Generations were the two hidden gems. And Sonic's been so bad in the last decade that people who haven't played them tend to lump them in with the rest. Can't blame them, with how bad said rest has been.

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    4. Do we include Sonic All-Stars Racing with the games? I haven't played it, but some of my friends have said they enjoyed it. And what do people think of Sonic 4?

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    5. In my opinion, the fact that there IS a Sonic All-Stars Racing among the piles of Sanicware kind of shows the extent Sega has taken this dead horse of a franchise.

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    6. Nah, that'd be like calling SSBs a mario game.

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  5. A bad game is a bad game, it can be frustrating for consumers, but if it's not ready, don't ship. I know money has to be made, but this really seemed like an opportunity to get the franchise in good graces again. Pushing launch for the holidays is a very shortsighted marketing approach. By constantly flooding the market with bad titles their just damaging the reputation of a series that is already a laughing stock to begin with. I'm not a Sonic fan though so I'm coming at it from an outside perspective, but Sonic was meant to go fast, 3D Sonic games have him going very slow, for very long portions, how do the developers not understand this disconnect. And these are former Naughty Dog people, if anyone could have done it I would have put my money on them. Sucks for all of the Sonic fans out there.

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  6. Looks like SEGA's attempt to send all those shitty mid-00's games down the memory hole is all for nothing, as the crappy games just keep coming. At this point I'm not sure how much more damage can actually be done to the Sonic brand. At this point, the people who are still on board are going to buy whatever turds they toss out.

    The Sonic Adventure games get lumped in with the rest of the bad 3D Sonic games sometimes, but they really were good games, if a little dated now. Some of that may be my nostalgia speaking, but after replaying them recently, they hold up well enough. They struck an appropriate balance of diverse gameplay styles, a storyline that while not great wasn't complete trash (and more importantly didn't get in the way of the gameplay), and still maintaining the element of speed that makes Sonic what it is. Every attempt to recreate that formula since SA2 has been a miserable failure, though (I never played all the way through Heroes, but I don't remember liking it too much).

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  7. And then Sega goes out of business, but Sonic lives on through the Sanic "fan"-made games and a new company known only as Sanic Inc. is founded.

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    1. Their main money maker has been Panchinko Machines and Slots ever since they merged with Sammy. Like 80% of their profits come from those

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  8. Thanks for the shout-out Slowflake. If this means you read my Tumblr blog; I'll have to try and put some more effort in.

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  9. There is a 1 hour speed run? Can I get a link?

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    1. Never mind, found it. I'm gonna watch this right now.

      http://www.twitch.tv/parax0/c/5484942

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  10. >dead corpse
    Jeff...really?

    But wow, I wasn't expecting Sonic Boom to flop so hard. I guess I'm out of the loop, but still. Also, did people hate Lost World? I mean, I thought it was Mario Galaxy with a Sonic skin until I played it, at which point the planetoids or whatever just felt like Sonic levels wrapped around pills.

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    1. Lost World wasn't a big hit to say the least, but it wasn't... this.

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  11. ... I thought Sonic Chronicles was ok?

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    1. If Sonic Chronicles was only those moments where Amy tries to guilt trip Sonic by pretending to have a boyfriend, only for Sonic to not give a flying fuck, sure, it'd be okay. As it is, it's a broken, unbalanced mess that encourages you to run away from fights in order to not get your ass kicked (which makes you get your ass kicked even harder later on), and basically forces you to use Cream to even stand a chance when you DO fight. Saying the music is subpar would be a crazy understatement, it's absolutely embarrassing low-quality MIDI crap, which especially shows in the 3D Blast remix. I could go on and on, but honestly, what an abortion it was. With such an expansive cast, each with their own powers, you'd think a Sonic RPG might have potential, but nope, they took ferocious Hershey squirts all over it, and now no one wants to see Sonic star in an RPG ever again.

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    2. Sonic Chronicles or Final Fantasy 3, the one with Garuda?

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    3. Oh god, FF3 was much of the same in terms of difficulty spikes. Garuda simply has to be the biggest one I've ever experienced.

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  12. Hey, I thought Unleashed was ok. And I know this is the most unpopular opinion in the world, but I didn't mind Black Knight either (though it's really short and easy, completable in three or four hours of work if you rush and are decent at it - which isn't hard)

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    1. Out of the rest, Unleashed is said to be among the "best", simply because of the daytime stages (which Colors and modern Generations stages were based on).

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