Friday, August 29, 2014

Nintendo, fire your marketing team already.

"New 3DS". Jesus fucking Christ. It's like they think they started a competition of who can come up with the worst name for a system with the Wii U, then along came the friggin' Xbox One, which made Nintendo incredibly envious so they came up with THIS shit. Heck, "3DS" was already kind of dubious to start with, because it was easy to think it was just a DS with 3D capabilities, and "2DS" just made it even messier, but come on. "New 3DS" and "New 3DS XL".

So let me get this straight. We have the DS, the DS Lite, the DSi, the DSi XL, the 3DS, the 3DS XL, the 2DS, the New 3DS and the New 3DS XL. How the fuck do they expect parents who aren't into gaming to figure out what each does?

New Super Nintendo 3DS XL Micro DX 3 & Knuckles Turbo Edition Director’s Cut & All-Stars Racing Transformed Battle Royal Remastered Special Edition -NicoCW

14 comments:

  1. NicoCW forgot about: "HD Turbo Remix Alpha".

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    1. And CD. And another Knuckles...

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    2. Add a 3 next to that CD and add Junkles and Knuckers.

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  2. I can't wait to play New New Super Mario Bros. New 3D Deluxe U Land World on it!

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  3. Wasn't the Nintendo Direct Japan only? Maybe it'll get a better name when they localize it kinda like how Gear became Klink.

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    1. Aside from the Famicom and Super Famicom, I don't think Nintendo has ever completely changed the name of a console while localizing it. I think the closest would be changing "LL" to "XL" with the aforementioned DS and 3DS XL models.

      As much as we'd all like for it to have an actual name, I think we're going to have to prepare for the New! Super 3DS Bros.


      And now that I think of it, there's going to be a lot of grammatical confusion involving these names, too. When someone says they have a "new 3DS", do they mean they have a New 3DS-model system, or have they recently obtained an old model 3DS?

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  4. Having a look at things, this "New Nintendo 3DS" seems more like a new handheld. But as far as names go, it's so atrocious it wouldn't pass for an April Fool's prank

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    1. Nah, I think a better comparison would be the DSi. Sure, there are going to be some games that are only for it, but it was also true of the DSi.

      Besides, don't you think three and a half years is uber short for a system as healthy as the 3DS? I'm sure they'll be careful to not overdo it with exclusives, otherwise people will feel robbed, and rightfully so.

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    2. I have a feeling it's going to be limited to Xenoblade and maybe a couple of other tech-demoish games. Xenoblade is going to be exclusive because it's too intensive for the normal 3DS (and that makes sense, Xenoblade is MASSIVE), but I don't think Nintendo is going to be making any games as big as Xenoblade anytime soon, especially not for their handhelds. If a game can run on the 3DS, it will be on the 3DS, I'm sure. The extra buttons seem to be pretty superfluous and I don't see many games requiring them.

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    3. Not to mention, the extra buttons are needed in order to mirror the Pro control scheme for Xenoblade.

      But yeah, Xenoblade is likely to be among the exceptions more than the rule. People are really panicking. Developers aren't stupid, they know they're going to reach a LOT more people by just making it work on the regular 3DS. Heck, one could say that's the gamble Gamefreak took by making gen 5 on the DS.

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  5. BTW, there's a Kirby "minithon" going on right now, if anyone's interested(Today and tomorrow).

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  6. Pro tip for dumb parents: Bring your kids when you go out to buy this for them.

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  7. Ah, but Slow - this New 3DS is not just for show!

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