Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Delicious, delicious tears

2002: WHATS THIS BOWSER JR BULLSHIT WHERE ARE MAH KOOPALINGS GODDAMMIT

2014: WHATS THIS KOOPALING BULLSHIT WHERES MAH BOWSER JR GODDAMMIT

So, Mario Kart 8. The roster can be explained by one of three things: they took trolling lessons from Gamefreak, they're trying to appeal to the Sonic DeviantArt community, or there'll be DLC at some point in the future. That last one actually holds some water, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if it turned out to be true. After all, the likes of Bowser Jr., Dry Bones, Diddy and others missing out on a 17-character roster is hardly abnormal, but a 30-character roster? Not so sure. And let's be honest, if that's the plan, then this is actually a solid move on Nintendo's part. Are you more likely to pay extra for DLC featuring Bowser Jr., Diddy, Dry Bones and Dry Bowser, or for Pink Gold Peach, Baby Rosalina and Metal Mario? Asking the question is answering it.

And still assuming that DLC is what they have in mind, it's kind of weird that people complain more about a 30-character roster featuring Baby Rosalina and Pink Gold Peach than they would about a 28-character roster without those two. They're really only taking someone else's place if there turns out to be no plans for DLC, and I'm using that term loosely because if they never intended to have those snubs in a 30-character roster, they probably wouldn't have intended to have them even if these "unwanted" characters weren't there. Not to mention, they've been pushing Rosalina really, REALLY hard lately, so her being given an alternate skin (albeit with different in-game stats, most likely) should really surprise no one. Pink Gold Peach I'll admit was really out of left field, and is going to be a very iffy pick if the DLC idea remains just that.

But hey, all the mainstays, the ones that absolutely HAVE to be there, are there, and they even threw in all seven Koopalings just for those of us that are old enough to have seven children ourselves, so you won't find me throwing a tantrum.

23 comments:

  1. Meh. The Mario Kart roster has never been a big deal to me, certainly not nearly as big a deal as the Smash roster. Hell, the only Mario Kart game in which the characters really mattered (beyond tiny differences in stats) was Double Dash, because of the exclusive items (which they really goddamn should bring back). As long as I've got a character in each weight class I like to use (Luigi and Rosalina will fit nicely for the medium and heavy classes, at least), I'm all set.

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    1. I would hardly call the differences between the characters in the original "tiny". Toad and Koopa Troopa were the only playable ones, the rest was absolute shite.

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    2. Welp, that's what I get for playing everything but the GBA game and the original. I didn't realize they even had differences beyond weight that early in the series.

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  2. I'm just glad they FINALLY decided to make it slightly more fair by nerfing those stupid blue shells...

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    1. With a super-rare item that apparently never appears when you're in the lead, or something to that effect. That's the Mario Kart equivalent of buffing Defog, if Defog had never been an HM.

      Seriously, even if you find it you'll probably be in the midpack, and holding on to it means getting pelted by red shells and stuff with no way to fight back.

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  3. Does anyone really care about the mario kart roster? I mean I'm glad they added the Koopa Kids because I love mario 3 and world but we had wiggler and some fat bee from galaxy as drivers in the last game and freaking funky kong before they even started the donkey kong returns series. It just gets more random with each release.

    The only mario kart I cared about character selection was double dash, I just hope the Koopa kids aren't copy and pastes of the other characters

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    1. If it's anything like Mario Kart 7, you'll have a few weight categories to choose from, and will be able to select your favorite from your weight class of choice. So technically, every single character would be a copy-paste of each other.

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  4. Koopa, Bowser and Yoshi should cover all 3 weight classes for me. As long as they all are pretty balanced I don't think anyone will be too upset. But they should give us some customization. I'd love to put some paper mario shades on koopa and change his shell color and stuff. It would be a nice touch.

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    1. Hmm. Didn't MK7 have five weight classes, though?

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    2. Oh shit really? Never played 7 but that sounds pretty cool, I hope they don't spread things too thin though. If playing heavy is fun and theres only like 2 heavy characters that would be a waste.

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    3. There are 30 characters, so if they're split in a finite amount of weight classes, and all the characters within the same class are the same (unlike in MKWii where anything not called Funky, Rosalina, Daisy or Baby Daisy wasn't worth using), you should have a good half-dozen characters in each class to choose from.

      Also, I don't have MK7 either, I just did some research so I wouldn't be completely ignorant on the subject matter when writing this blog entry.

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  5. I love Bowser Jr. and all of the Koopalings.
    So, unfortunately, I'm sad in both of those cases. Kind of sucks in hindsight.

    I'm hoping there's DLC, and it would make sense for there to be DLC, buuuut...
    It would've made for Mario Kart 7 as well! In hindsight I see no reason it shouldn't have been done. I mean, there are a lot of people who would've paid to be able to play as Waluigi, or Diddy, Bowser Jr., whatever! And yet they wouldn't take advantage of it even though they've proved they have the technology. This is a case where I'd LOVE to be wrong though.
    Come one, Nintendo, prove me wrong!

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  6. I still hate Bowser Jr. to this day. I'm glad the Koopalings are finally in Mario Kart, though the fact that Iggy still has that awful green hair annoys me.

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  7. I can see what you mean with the Sonic deviantart community (idiots who see Shadow and Rouge as gods) and with Game Freak, Mega Lati twins anyone?

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  8. Mario Kart can have more than 8 racers? When did that happen? (Discounting Double Dash when they had to double-up for pairings)

    The confirmation of all koopalings has me sold on this game! ...if it's on 3Ds, else I'll have to pass. Rosalina, Rosalina. I never played the galaxy games or SM3DW, so I don't know her beyond "she looks like a peach recolor to me." Even Daisy who I'm a little more familiar with from Mario Land is still nothing more than a recolor to me. Yet luigi is cool, and the koopalings are all, in essence, just recolors of each other to some extent, yet bowser jr. is the annoying one because he's seen more as a character usurping their position than an 8th koopaling.

    30 characters, on paper, seems a tad excessive to me. Are people really complaining it's not enough? Or because of so-called "filler" characters? Man how times have changed.

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    1. Mario Kart DS had 12 characters, Mario Kart Wii had 24, and Mario Kart 7 had 17. Both Wii and 8 have 12-way races instead of the usual 8 from the other games.

      And of course MK8 is exclusive to Wii U. The 3DS already has its Mario Kart game, what's the point of another?

      As far as Rosalina goes, she's... well, I've played both Galaxy games numerous times, and even I'm not entirely sure what she is. Some sort of immortal goddess, possibly? Hell if I know. The only thing I can say for sure is that her lifespan goes far beyond that of a normal human being.

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    2. Yet for some reason, people seemed to love her. I say seemed as now, even her fans are getting fed up of her being shoehorned into everything.

      Hell, I'd say I cared more about Lubba than her in terms of personality, even if he wasn't funny.

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  9. So there's a picture from the Spanish advertising of this game going around that has Diddy Kong as a racer. So he's either unlockable and they aren't spoiling every unlockable or a DLC.

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    1. I've heard about a picture that featured Diddy, and it was confirmed to be a mistake. Maybe it's the same one?

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  10. I don't like the Koopalings. They make all of the bossfights in the new Mario games feel samey. Did they really need SEVEN character slots? If they put in just one (probably Ludwig), that would make more sense to me. I don't understand why they're playable instead King Boo, Dry Bones, Birdo, Dry Bowser, etc.

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    1. If anything, it's in the OLD Mario games (especially SMB3) that the Koopalings feel samey.

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    2. I don't care! Making them samey made them awesome! Their designs were permanently ruined because their shells changed colors!!!!! But bowser jr. is too much like bowser so he stinks.

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  11. Comments on these things are amazing. "Where is Funky Kong? You can't just put him in and forget it ever happened. Pink Gold Peach? WTF Nintendo!" LOL!

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