Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A map of Canada

We stand on guard for thee!

Seriously though, Quebec is horribly inaccurate. Protesters who protest about everything, huh? Nah, it's just that the liberal arts students are noisy enough to make the rest of us look bad. You want free tuition, huh? Well how about you major in something that will allow you to make enough to pay your student loans? (I already showed you some sickening examples of these cretins last year on this very blog, so if they treat us taxpayers with that kind of disdain we'll be more than happy to return the favor.)

"Catholics" is horribly wrong too. Maybe before 1960 back when the Catholic church basically owned everything and mindwiped us into being their mindless minions, but now it's atheist heaven. 90% of us rejected the church, and the remaining 10% are over the age of 70. That's not me being cynical either, go to a random church on Sunday morning and count the hairs that aren't white. You'll be done fast, I promise.

Poutine, though? Yes. Yes yes yes. A HUNDRED TIMES YES. Of course, where it goes totally wrong is when people try to mess with the formula. I've already mentioned that Italian poutine is just about the grossest thing ever, and I stand by that statement. (It's made by replacing the gravy with spaghetti sauce, for the record. Wrong on every conceivable level.)

So, fellow Canadians, what is wrong or right about your home province? (Can not resist joke about "terrible politicians" belonging in Alberta...)

Thanks to MrNewblez for the tip.


  1. For BC I agree with rain, lot's and lot's of rain, Mountains and trees are correct (yet sadly the trees are decreasing) and Victoria (where I live) is known as the place of the newly wed and nearly dead so old people is correct. Bears and beavers are right. I'm not sure about hippies or marijuana though. Snobs and "People who could afford to leave Ontario" are both wrong however.

  2. Haha, I didn't expect you to write a random tangent about our godly Poutine of all things !

    While I kinda agreed with some of the non-extremist students back then, now that I see them still whining, even after we got a reasonable deal, I just never want to be ever associated with them again. Seriously, 3% raise per year is a much better compromise than I ever hoped we'd get.

    "Maple Syrup" should have been written with a much bigger font. :P

  3. Haha Doublethree1 I live in Victoria too!

  4. I'm fron Ontario, so yeah, centre of the freaking universe sums up our mindset pretty well. I'm in university, and I go to school with people who can't name all the other provinces!

    Though it's not just spoiled students who make you guys look silly. Sometimes it's these guys too: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2013/02/20/montreal-language-pasta-translation.html

    1. Yeah, that was ridiculous. The store my mother works at had problems with these guys too, they complained about how the photocopier said "on/off" in English. No joke.

      But don't worry, the public outrage over this pasta saga was off the charts. Even the apostles of the typically xenophobic extreme left didn't like it very much.

  5. I am officially Catholic, but my Asperger's and many other factors lead me between that and doubting...I have seen evidence for both. What I hate is both sides having brain-dead sub-humans who are complete a**es and misinterpret what they are supposed to believe. My philosophy is that being tolerant of all other beliefs (except Satanism) makes it so that slightly less people hate you, and those that do have one less reason to hate you. If one is like me, they will take what they can get...

    I cannot speak for the rest of the stuff, for I am from America. People think of America as the center of everything to the point where we only have stereotypes of everyone else. I hate to admit that I cannot remember the locations of all 50 states. I wonder what an American map of that style would look like. It would probably have Republican, war-hungry, American football, cheeseburgers, and evangelists on the Christian belt, and pretty much the same thing with Democrat replacing Republican everywhere else. Oh, and add "center of the multiverse" in random places in there, for a lot of people here think that...

    1. Oh, how could I forget obesity? Scatter that around America as well...